Lollygaggin

Geta...geta....GETAWAY!

2012-02-05T19:18:00.002-06:00

In May, we're planning on going on our first big vacation in several years...Yippee!...several days in Savannah and several on Tybee Island.

Anyone from that area or been on vacation there? Any suggestions, tips, hints?

We're really not your traditional touristas...except I do wanna check out Paula Deen's restaurant.(So shoot me.) But we're mostly into the off-the-beaten-path, quirky and unusual.

I figure we'll spend most of our in-town time in the historic district, down by the river somewhere.

Isn't it gorgeous? Can't wait!

It's the beeessst cat bed....EVER!

2012-02-02T11:06:00.002-06:00

We have a sofa, two beds, a squishy recliner, an extremely soft, plushy shag area rug and a veritable plethora of blankies, throws and kitty beds.

So what does Simon think is the best cat bed ever invented?

The hard wooden tray that sits on our ottoman/coffee table. And he uses the handle as a pillow.

Neither of my cats are....right.

It. LIVES!

2012-01-24T11:33:00.010-06:00

Yea, yea. I know. Long time, no see. I have no excuse...except laziness.

Haven't been busy. Haven't been sick. Well, except for a nasty 3-day bout of infectious gastroenteritis, aka: the killer stomach flu. Haven't been anywhere...except work.

I'm just a lazy-ass blogger, ok? Sue me. Not gonna promise I'll be better. But I'll try.

Finally started seeing eagles around here. I was beginning to wonder if the mild winter we've been having had screwed up their...whatever eagles have...schedules? But this morning, we saw 22...yes, TWENTY TWO...eagles out on what little bit of ice is on the river. 'Course, they were too far away to get a really good shot of all of 'em.

The mild winter we've been having (knocking on wood here) has made for some pretty gorgeous sunrises.

At first glance, I thought, "Holy shit! They're haulin cruise missles down the damn river!" I'm still tryin to decide what these are. The poles for wind turbines, maybe?

And, the usual suspects abound here on the river. Millions of geese, gazillions of ducks and at least three varieties of woodpecker.

As with all photos, click to enlarge.

Zzzzzzzzzzzz..........

2011-12-10T17:57:00.006-06:00

Pretty boring around here.

Hmmm...wonder if we have a problem with carbon monoxide?

"...a very dear family friend..."

2011-11-15T20:24:00.002-06:00

It doesn't seem like enough, somehow.

To describe someone that has been a good friend as well as a friend of your parents; the mother of a close, childhood-right-up-to-present-time friend; someone you even worked with at a couple different jobs.

Someone whom you grew up knowing...who was always...there...in one way or another. If not in person, in spirit, surely.

To describe a person like that as "a dear family friend" just doesn't seem...adequate.

My heart hurts for my friend and her family. And I'm being selfish, but it hurts for myself, knowing that my "very dear family friend" is gone.

Photo blogging...

2011-11-13T17:16:00.009-06:00

...cuz I got nuttin to whine, moan or complain about.

(Click on the photos to enlarge.)

Uneasy truce

It's a rare occasion indeed when I'm able to capture both da boyz in one photo. They don't exactly hate each other, but they're not anywhere close to besties, either.

Last trip of the season

Or one of the last anyway, for our local paddlewheeler, the Spirit of Peoria.

Woody

We've spotted several different types of woodpeckers (this is a Red-bellied Woodpecker...even though his belly isn't red) since Da Zigster started hanging the suet blocks.

Confused geraniums

Doesn't look that unusual, huh? Well, it's November 12...and my geraniums are starting to bloom. Again. We've had some freaky weather this fall...it was 72 today, fr'instance...and we haven't had a hard frost yet.

The rare, elusive "Squirrelbird"

They're a huge pain in the ass, but kinda fun to watch.

Orange

Must be another side-effect of the wacky weather...really gorgeous sunrises lately.

My 57th trip around the sun...

2011-10-21T21:49:00.003-05:00

...and all I got were these fuckin cataracts.

So. At my last office visit, my doc suggested that I have a really good eye exam as I hadn't had one in several years.

It just so happened that my eye appointment was yesterday...just one day before my birthday. Honestly, it was the best, most thorough eye exam I've ever had. They numbed up my eyeballs. They dilated my pupils. They poked and prodded and peered deep into the recesses of my vitreous humor.

Doc - "The good news is, your eyes look reasonably healthy."

Me - "What's the bad news?"

Doc - "Well, you have a tiny cataract."

Me - (Thinking...oh fer gawd's sake...a fuckin cataract?? Krist on a crutch...first arthritis and now a cataract? I'm not even 57 yet!!) "I do?? Which eye?"

Doc - "Um...both of 'em."

Doc - "But the good news is, they aren't interfering with your sight. Yet. And when they do, we can take care of 'em and you won't ever have to wear glasses again."

Me - "And when might that happen?"

Doc - "Oh, it could be years and years before they start to interfere with your sight."

Swell. By that time, I won't know my ass from a hole in the ground, probably won't know my own name and more than likely won't even know...or care...if I wear glasses or not.

Cataracts.

Fuck.

I was a little hippie chick, fer chrissake! I went barefoot and braless! I hitchhiked! I smoked dope, dammit!

Pretty

2011-09-29T20:26:00.004-05:00

The sunrises have been exceptionally pretty around here the last few weeks.

And that's just about all I have to say since my brain seems to have turned to mush. (sigh)

And so it begins

2011-08-30T16:33:00.002-05:00

Senile dementia can be FUN!

I normally use my debit card...oh...somewhere in the neighborhood of...4-6 times a week, maybe. And I've had this same debit card...with the same PIN number... for...lessee...about 4 years, now.

Now, there are times that I use the debit as a credit card, eliminating the need for a PIN number. But those times are few...like maybe once a week.

So let's say I use the card as a debit (and using the PIN) approximately 5 times a week. For the last 4 years.

After the first few times I used my card, I'd managed to memorize the PIN. So that means I've entered the SAME PIN number...from memory...well over 1000 times.

Until today.

I had to run into work (on my day off, no less) for a very impotent...ah...I mean important meeting. After said very impotent...dammit...important meeting, I ran to Wal Mart (gawd forgive me) to pick up a couple things.

The nice cashier totaled up my items, I slid my card though the card-slider-thingy and...........stood there like a deer caught in the head lights.

My PIN number had been completely erased from my memory. Nothing. Zip. Nada. It was like an alien abduction...without the anal probe part.

Nothing came to me. Well...except for my password at work...my phone number...even my damn social security number.

But no PIN.

Just a big, fat blank spot where that little tidbit of info shoulda been.

It was eliminated from my memory so completely, I thought maybe I'd had a stroke.

Nothing...I mean nothing came to me. I think there might have been a 7...and maybe a 5...in my PIN. But I sure as hell wouldn't swear to it.

I can't even begin to tell you how flustered I was. And still am, for that matter.

Thankfully the cashier, who appeared to be about the same age as me, stopped me from trying to enter the wrong number a third time, and told me to just run it through as a credit card. She went on to explain that fucking (my terminology, not hers) the number up a third time renders the whole damn card useless for 24 hours...a security thing, I guess.

After a trip to the bank and the embarrassment of explaining what had happened, the nice little cashier had my PIN number reset. She asked me if I had a number in mind that I wanted to use for the new PIN and I immediately told her "absolutely".

I know it's suggested that you don't use familiar numbers...like birthdays...for PIN numbers. But I did.

I figure if I manage to forget my own damn birthday, da Zigster might as well slap a diaper on my ass and take me to the home.

Storms, shootin irons, salons, squirrels and...uh....

2011-08-14T18:56:00.009-05:00

...sparkly!

It's been a week of "s's" here at the River Rat Retreat.

Ok, so the storm was last week. It's called poetic license here, people...work with me, k?

On Friday, I went from a blowsy blonde to a bombshell (again with the poetic license) brunette in the blink of an eye. Ok, so it took my stylist a little longer than that. My hair hasn't been this dark in...well...forever. I'm not even sure if it's close to my "real" hair color...haven't seen it in...oh...40 odd years. But she asked me if I wanted to go "drastic" and I said "Go for it, honey!" I love the change. Da Zigster, however, does not. He'll hafta live with it.

On Saturday, Ziggy and I went gun shoppin. We're now the proud owners (or will be as soon as the background check clears) of a Mossberg Model 50420 shotgun. Kinda impressive lookin, ain't it?
We'd originally thought we'd get a handgun of some kind, but after thinkin about it a bit, we decided that since it's basically for personal protection here at home, we'd go with something with a little more...ah...ooomph. We'll save the handgun for when Illinois finally passes some kind of concealed-carry legislation. And, yea...I'll carry it.
While I'm at it, I'll throw in a plug for American Firearms and Ammo Supply in Peoria. Can't say enough nice things about the salesmen there. They were professional, knowledgeable and weren't at all pushy.

I won't, however, be using the Mossberg on Marilyn, our blonde squirrel.

Here's the "sparkly" part. On Sunday, we took the boat up river to Henry and had a late lunch at the marina. The weather was absolutely gorgeous...sunny...80 degrees or so and clear as a bell. The kinda day that makes ya glad to be alive, ya know?

Here's Cap'n Ziggy...captaining. heh I know. No "s". Sue me.

My own, private LOLCats

2011-08-09T19:41:00.003-05:00

For the lova gawd! Put some PANTS on!

I tink I need a chirp...eh...chire....er...chiropractor.

You made it, baby!

2011-08-07T18:37:00.003-05:00

Da Zigster always said he wanted to live long enough to become a curmudgeon. Looks like he made it. Today's his birthday, and it's a "big" one.

Happy Birthday, honey...I love you, you old curmudgeon.

And to celebrate the big day? We took a nice boat ride, followed by a seafood boil with some corn on da cob. Dessert? Why, Key Lime cheesecake...what else?? YUM!

Hey...we couldn't do anything too exciting, ya know...the old guy might not be able to take it. heh

In case anybody wonders what happened to me

2011-07-25T10:29:00.003-05:00

I've been kidnapped by an 11 year old girl. Who suffers horribly from Bieber Fever.

Wait. It's me that's sufferin horribly.

Gawd help me.

Yea.....it's like that

2011-07-24T20:48:00.002-05:00

I'm back!

2011-07-10T19:42:00.012-05:00

Uh...actually, I haven't been anywhere. Just haven't been posting like I used to. Truthfully, I can't imagine that anyone would be interested in what some fat, middle-aged woman has to say.

So I haven't said anything.

I think that's better than posting drivel, don't you? It should be a blogger rule...if you can't post anything other than drivel, don't post at all.

Ok, so most of this is drivel. But I'll throw in some pretty pictures to make up for it, 'k?

As always, click on the photo to enlarge.

Pink

This season's hibiscus (or seabiscuit as da Zigster calls it) is loooving the heat and humidity. Unlike moi. Moi does not like it, no, no, no she does not.

More pink

Red sky at night, sailor's delight. Red sky at dawn, sailor's be warned.

Out for a Sunday paddle

As always, da boyz keep us entertained. I swear...it's like having a couple toddlers in the house.

So, it's been pretty quiet around the River Rat Retreat so far this summer. The river's been pretty high all spring/summer, but it finally got low enough for us to get the boat in a couple weeks ago. We've been out in it enough for me to have developed a nice, healthy-looking glow. I know, I know...don't bother saying it...it won't be so healthy-looking when I develop skin cancer.

I could comment on all the crap that's been going on

locally

. I'll just say that if anybody thinks this was just

kids being kids

, they need to think again. You watch...it's gonna get worse. And that's all I have to say about that.

I could comment on the Casey Anthony debacle. But I'm afraid my head would explode if I think too long about it.

I could comment on the state of these United States. Again with the exploding head.

It's just healthier for me to post pretty pictures. heh

It's time! It's time!

2011-05-24T09:51:00.003-05:00

In fact, it's long overdue.

Yup. It's time for another "Grannies Gone Wild Weekend" and I'm so excited I can hardly stand it.

It's been an incredibly stressful last few months for my co-hort in crime, so I know she needs this little getaway. As for me, the last few months haven't been stressful...just...drudge-filled. Ya know? Plodding through the winter and a spring that's been too damn long in coming.

So I think a teeny little va-ca is just what the doc ordered...for both of us.

A lotta laughin, a little shoppin, a lotta eatin, a little gamblin. Oh, and did I mention laughin? Yea...we do a lotta that.

Yup. Sounds like a plan to me.

Consider yourself scret...scrot...er...scrutinized

2011-05-04T20:56:00.001-05:00

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How high's the water, mama?

2011-05-03T16:47:00.006-05:00

Pretty damned high. But it's goin down. At least we didn't hafta boat in and out this time.

The high water, however, did provide some new digs for the local flock of Canada geese and their new babies. They're sooooo damn cute with their widdle waddle-butts.

(Click photos to embiggify.)

Happy Easter!

2011-04-24T10:41:00.003-05:00

My current obsession

2011-03-16T21:44:00.002-05:00

Jake Shimabukuro and his uke have about as much in common with Tiny Tim and his uke as an eggplant does to a grandfather clock.

When we bought my little red Soul buggy, it came with three free months of Sirius Radio. I figured I'd use up my freebie months and that would be that. Until I found the Margaritaville station. And Jake Shimabukuro. (I know...easy for you to say, right?)

This kid has the balls to do "Bohemian Rhapsody" and "While My Guitar Gently Weeps"...and he just slays 'em both. But the song featured in the vid...it just makes me smile every time I hear it.

Made me laugh out loud

2011-03-09T18:35:00.001-06:00

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I got the sun in the mornin and the moon at night

2011-02-18T20:49:00.005-06:00

A scientific, double-blind study shows...

2011-02-18T20:46:00.004-06:00

...it is, indeed, possible to cram a 10 pound bag of shit into a 5 pound basket.

Sick of eagle photos yet?

2011-02-15T16:49:00.006-06:00

Sorry.

I still get a thrill when I see one...or more...of these big guys.

(Click the photos to enlarge. Better to see the fish carnage goin on.)

Eagles, eagles everywhere

2011-02-13T15:31:00.011-06:00

Technically Bald Eagle Days ended here in Chillicothe yesterday. But this particular group decided that today was a better day to show off.

At one point, there were seven in the group. In order to get them all in the shot, though, I had to pan out too far...you'd have never known all the black spots were eagles.

Note the first one...chowin down on a big ole catfish. And in the last two, the eagle in the middle is a young one...they don't get the white head and tail until about age 5.

(Click on photos to enlarge.)

I have a sadistic streak a mile wide

2011-02-12T20:50:00.004-06:00

So says da Zigster. He's probably right.

See, my ex is "engaged".

On one hand, I'm tickled that he's finally moved on. I wish him all the best. Really.

On the other hand...the "sadistic" one, evidently ...I reeeealllly wanna say, "Congrats! Does this mean you'll stop hitting your daughter...and me...up for money??"

Now I ask you...does that make me a bad person?

Yea, yea. I know. Just askin.

A picture's worth a thousand words...

2011-02-12T20:26:00.004-06:00

...right?

Not much new here. Workin. Freezin. Wadin through snow. Workin. Sleepin. Freezin. Wadin through snow. Workin....well...you get the idea. Ho hum. Spring can't come too soon for me.

Click on photos to enlarge.

The sunrise just before the Great Blizzard of 2011.
Red sky at night, sailor's delight...red sky at dawn, sailors be warned.

The blizzard's just beginning. Check out the fish wind sock.

Da Boids
Canada geese on ice.

Yellow-tailed Flicker loves suet.

Sparrows hang on for dear life during the blizzard of 2011.

Bald eagle has fishy breakfast.

Da boyz

That was the snowflake that broke the camel's back

2011-01-27T17:55:00.003-06:00

A snowjob

I know. We're luckier than a lotta areas. But we're still twice our yearly average of the white shit. I'm gettin preeettttty sick of it. And it's certainly not making my disposition all rainbows and kittens, I can tell ya that right now.

Fact of the matter is, I'm gettin damn scrappy. I wanna kick somebody's ass.

That dumb bitch that had her big SUV's nose up my little red baby's ass on my way to work yesterday morning would do just fine.

Stupid cow. Yammering on her cell phone, of course. I was in the left lane, runnin 10 damn miles over the speed limit to try to get away from her. The right lane was full and I could not get over. I came thiissssss close to just hittin the ole break pedal...just a tap...just to get her attention, ya know?

But I figured I'd wind up pickin up my teeth offa Route 29...watching as she blasted past me...still blowin her cell phone.

I'm tellin ya...that 29 at rush hour is like Talladega...except with stupid bints on cell phones.

Eagles, schmeagles...

2011-01-18T15:04:00.007-06:00

This dude sat in our tree overlooking the river for probably an hour or more just scopin' things out.

Shortly after taking these photos, I glanced out the front window and found this...

I snuck outside...in my nightgown...and grabbed this shot. They were having a "conversation". You haven't lived until you've heard a couplea eagles "talk" to each other.

(Click on photos to enlarge..then click again to supersize.)

That was the year that was

2011-01-01T15:24:00.011-06:00

Happy New Year, all three of you die-hard Lollygaggin readers, bless yer little hearts. And everyone else that happens to stumble in accidentally.

I know. I've really, really sucked as a blogger this past year. I intend to change that. Really. I do intend to.

2010 has been good to me, more or less. It's not been the best year I've ever had health-wise. But it's not really been the worst, either. 2010 was the first year I really started to feel...old. Body-wise, I mean. My body is betraying me. I'm getting...wrinkly. Things don't bend or stretch as well as they did.

Except my boobs. They haven't had any problem stretching. (sigh) Luckily, my ass is so big that it shouldn't fall for a looooong time, so I suppose that's a plus.

Let's see if I can briefly recap my 2010...

I quit smoking on January 3, 2010...and haven't had a ciggie since. Gotta tell ya...I'm damn proud of that one because I have like...no willpower, whatsoever. Unfortunately, I gained about 20 pounds that I certainly didn't need.

Fuck. It's always somethin.

2010 brought me a heart-wrenching layoff at work. Luckily, I was called back less than a week later. Bastards. Puttin me through all that psychic trauma for nothin. Nevertheless, I'm back at a job I love and I'm very thankful for that.

In 2010, I lost friends and ex-lovers, but gained a great son-in-law and a couple new pals.

I flew for the first time (and probably the last...don't like it, no, no, no) in my life in 2010 and got to experience Vegas.

We bought a boat and spent as much time as we could on the river in 2010. And I snuck in a new car on the next-to-the-last day.

In 2010, I got a new camera and I've spent the year trying to capture the river and all her moods...

...and a few of the critters that call this area 'home'.

Happy New Year, everyone! May your 2011 be filled with love and laughter.

I'm a Soul (wo)man

2010-12-31T14:20:00.007-06:00

A new ride for the new year...in "Arrest Me Red", no less.

Is it me or is it me?

I loooove it. I'd originally wanted a

Nissan Juke

But the local Nissan dealer just had no idea when they'd get one in...it might be possibly three months.
Really? Well, too bad for you, Nissan dealer. If ya don't have what I want when I'm ready to buy, I'll look elsewhere. And I did. The salesman also said that if we were looking for any kinda storage, the Juke's was pretty skimpy compared to most of the other small SUV-type thingys.

I did test a

Cube

in "Carribean Blue". Liked it. Despite it's boxiness, it was zippy and agile and the seats were the most comfortable of any car my butt's been planted in. A goodly amount of storage, too.

We also stopped by the Toyota dealer and checked out a brand-new

Scion

...that wouldn't start. How embarrassing for the salesman. Not that I'd have chosen it, anyway after sitting in it...the interior was really cheap-looking.

After checkin out the Soul, though...well, I was in love. Love the sunroof. Love the electric...everything. Love the storage. Love the "disco lights" in the interior. And I gotta tell ya...that Bluetooth phone thingy...I can tell my car to make a phone call...and it does!. I'm still kinda gob-smacked by that.

'Course, I'm easily entertained. heh

The three free months of satellite radio? Eh. S'ok.

Anywho, I love the Soul. It's quirky and cute and it's definitely my color.

The eagle has landed...

2010-12-07T10:20:00.005-06:00

...in our locust tree.

(Click to enlarge...and note the first couple of photos. He must've had a good breakfast...he's got blood on his head.)

A snowy Caturday

2010-12-04T17:09:00.007-06:00

I know...4 inches isn't much. Except when you're talkin about snow. I'm sooooo not ready for this.

Da boids, however, don't seem to mind it at all. As long as we keep the grub comin, anyway.

Meanwhile, the inside of our cozy, little cabin is snow-free. And warm...Simon thinks it's too warm. I suppose I would too if I were wearing a fluffy, fur coat 24/7.

And Stewie? Well...Stewie is...Stewie. What can ya say?

This is my box. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Yea, it's been one of those kinda lazy, snuggle-in days. Did a little housekeeping. Took a few photos. Was entertained by the cats. Had some yummy cheese fondue for a late lunch/early supper whilst watching King Solomon's Mine, followed by The Thin Man.

Yawwwwn!

Yup

2010-11-24T19:41:00.000-06:00

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Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-23T19:28:00.002-06:00

I know. It's official. I suck as a blogger.

And I know. That's not a picture of a turkey. It's a picture of a lobster.

That's because we're not having turkey for Thanksgiving...we're having lobster.

Yum.

I'm back. I'm beat. I'm broke.

2010-11-02T11:27:00.003-05:00

It was fun and I'm glad I went.

Having said that, Las Vegas isn't somewhere I care to visit again. Frankly, I was far more interested in the tantalizing glimpses of the mountains that I could see just beyond the city.

Oh, and the first time flight? Don't care to do that again, either. I don't care whatcha say...humans are not meant to fly 30+ thousand feet off the ground at 600+ miles an hour. It ain't...right.

Photos are

here

What happens in Vegas...

2010-10-15T18:12:00.003-05:00

...is gonna wind up on this blog, I can tell ya that right now.

It's time, once again, for a "Grannies Gone Wild" weekend...and we're doin' it up big, this time. Big.

Really big. As in Las Vegas Big. With a capital 'B', even.

We're flyin out on the 28th and coming back on the 31st. Three nights and four days in Sin City. WhooooHooooo!

But see...the thing is...well...I've never flown before.

In an airplane, I mean. Or a helicopter, either, for that matter. There was that one time...I dropped that tab of speed...

...ah...nevermind.

It's not that I've been terrified of flying, you understand. It's the crashing that's always scared me shitless. That and the total, absolute lack of control I'd have. It's not like I can tell the pilot to stop so I can get off, ya know.

My life, for those few hours, will be totally and completely in someone else's hands.

I'm not real tickled about that idea.

But I figure...what the hell. I'll be 56 friggin years old next week. I've lived a good life.

And I'm gonna hit up my doc for a coupla Valium...just in case.

Update:

A commenter just reminded me that flying to Vegas entails flying over the Rocky Mountains. Now, all I can think of is the movie

Alive

And, didn't the whole

Donner Party

thing happen somewhere in the Rockies?

Thanks, Randall. LOL

The river wild

2010-10-05T10:26:00.009-05:00

It's an endless source of fascination for me.

Right now, it's loooow...really low. Low enough that a huge sandbar has appeared, half-way across. When the river is at a normal level, only a tiny bit of it is visible...and just to the north. At it's present size, it's become the perfect hangout for the ginormous flock of American white pelican that call this little neck of the woods "home"...for the summer, anyway.

They'll soon be off to warmer climes, so I wanted to grab a few shots of 'em before they leave.

(Click on photos to enlarge)

The wide variety of wildlife here in our front yard isn't the only source of fascination for me. Sometimes the sunrises are just...breathtaking.

Now, when people ask me to explain what I do for a living...

2010-10-04T19:11:00.004-05:00

...I can say, "See this? It's pretty much like this."

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"Just sharpen my legs and drive me into the ground."

2010-09-22T21:23:00.005-05:00

So speaketh Donovan P.

That's what my dad used to say when we'd try to have a conversation about...well...to be blunt, death. To be more precise, what he wanted done with his body after death.

Of course, we didn't do any of the things he'd suggested...sharpening his legs and driving him into the ground being only one of the myriad of bizarre choices he gave us. We went the "traditional" route even though I knew he'd have hated it.

I attended the visitation of a dear friend (though we haven't been close for years)/former in-law tonight. And I was horrified even though I have a feeling it's just what she would have wanted.

It resembled nothing so much as a ancient Egyptian burial ritual...ya know?..where they send the deceased off into the great, black unknown with food to nourish them, jewelry to barter with, blankets to keep them warm and all manner of personal possessions.

There was a frickin bag of potato chips in the coffin, fer chrissake. It was beyond bizarre.

And it wasn't just this service. The last several I've been to have done something similar, though not quite so over the top.

Maybe the extreme...weirdness...of all the hoo-haa...all the jingly-jangly junk...helps temper the grief...helps take one's mind off of the situation? I dunno. I guess it sorta helped me out in that area.

All I do know is she died way too young (we were the same age) and she left behind a beautiful daughter and two gorgeous grandsons. She'll be missed something awful.

Yea

2010-09-20T09:12:00.000-05:00

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I was abducted by aliens

2010-09-06T15:05:00.008-05:00

What year is it and why does my butt hurt?

Ok. I admit it. I wasn't really abducted by aliens. And I haven't seen anything resembling an anal probe in a loooong time.

But I am wondering just what in the hell happened to the last...oh...three or four months or so. Anybody got a clue? Anyone?

Anyone?

Bueller?

Bueller?

Good gawd but the summer has flown. Let's see if I can recap it as succinctly as possible.

Went on a short gamblin trip and won. Went on a longer, "Grannies Gone Wild" gamblin trip and lost.

Gained a son-in-law. Lost my mind and my temper.

Bought some new clothes; bought some new shoes; bought a new refrigerator.

Went to the new Hy-Vee (it's nice). Went to the new Fresh Market (it's freakin awesome)...talk about yer

Lost in the Cheese Aisle

...I snagged some aged Vermont cheddah, some dill Havarti and a nice little chunk'o Duck foie gras.

Went boatin a few times...much less than we'd have liked due to the miserably, wickedly hot weather.

Saw a man on roller skates, carrying a hockey stick, wearin a cowboy hat, dressed in only a hockey jersey and jock strap at the kids' wedding reception - don't ask.

Observed da Zigster doin a mighty fine job (for an old fart) of dancin to "YMCA". Observed da Zigster asleep in the recliner at least 47 times.

And now it's Labor Day. Summer's last big HURRAH!...and I'm sick as a dog with a summer epizootic...snotty nose, rib-crackin cough, da works. I'm suckin on a cuppa hot tea with honey and lemon and da Zigster is asleep in the recliner. WhoooHoo! Big end of summer party here. Big.

Oh. And in between all the glamorous, globe-hopping travel and the half-nekkid men on roller skates (nice ass, btw) I worked. Harder than I normally do, too.

Speaking of Labor Day, our local

Lowe's

freakin rocks! They delivered our gorgeous new refrigerator today. On a freakin holiday, fer gawd's sake! Aaannndd, they delivered it exactly when they said they would!

Well...that pretty much sums up what Pammy did on her summer vacation. (Yawn)

I'll try to be a better blogger...but it just seems like a helluva lotta work. heh

Oh, yea...I almost forgot this little gem. I've seen it before, in Jacksonville on the way to the Princess', but I've never had the camera handy.

Ahhh...Firearms and Memories. Didn't Streisand cover that?

I got nothin

2010-08-17T18:48:00.004-05:00

I think menopause robbed me of what paltry writing skills I had.

Or maybe it was the 90+ degree/85% humidity days we had for like...oh...forever that sucked the brain cells right outa me.

Today has been incredible, though...it's the first day since about May we've been able to shut off the air and open the house up. It's even been too damn hot for boating, though we did take 'er out last Sunday for a short cruise.

Work has been...different...not necessarily in a good way. Nevertheless, I'm glad I still have a job and am working with some really fabulous people. I still only work 2 and a half days a week and it totally kicks my ass.

Lessee...what else can I yammer about? Oh, I got a hair cut the other day. My regular stylist is on maternity leave, so I had a sub. Let's just say that when I got home, Ziggy called me "Butch".

Yeeaaaaa. It's short. Reeeeeallly short. And he's a smart-ass.

I don't think I've mentioned that the Princess is getting married next weekend. So that should provide some good blog fodder. heh

There you have it. That pretty much recaps my entire summer to this point...just hangin and watchin the river...and all her travelers...go by.

(I have photos of said river and travelers I was gonna post, but evidently Blogger has a fart cross-ways right now. I'll try again later. Or not.)

Three years ago today

2010-08-04T21:57:00.002-05:00

Doesn't time fly when you're havin fun?

Love you, Sparky!

Groucho Marx is alive and well and living in Chillicothe

2010-07-27T10:10:00.003-05:00

This'll probably lose a lot in translation, but it sent me into a laughing fit like I haven't had in months.

Me, upon observing Ziggy come out of the bathroom: "Do you know your fly is still unzipped?"

Ziggy, deadpan, without hesitating an instant: "No, but if you hum a few bars, I can fake it."

So now it's come to this?

2010-07-20T20:14:00.003-05:00

Gawd. Can it be? Do I lead such a boring, uninspired life that a visit to a brand new grocery store thrills me to the tips of my little, pudgy toes?

Yup. Guess so.

Ok, before you say anything, I did wait a whole week to check out the new Hy-Vee in Sheridan Village.

Truth be told, I tried to check it out the day it opened, but the ginormous parking lot was chock-full-o-nuts. Good gawd'll mighty...yuppie bitches in their monstrous SUV's trying to find a parking place while running their mouths on their cell phones...people walking hither and yon with their little kids running amok...and then you had the geriatric set in their Buicks.

I decided that my life...as well as my sanity...was far more important.

So, I waited until today. I didn't really need anything from the grocery store. 'Course, that never stopped me before. I can go to the store, needing only 3 or 4 things...and come out with 5 sacks full.

As I walked up to the automatic doors, they slid open silently and I heard a chorus of angels go "Laaaaaaaaaaa!" as I stepped across the threshold.

Not really.

But it is a big, beautiful store and the sheer variety of products is dizzying.

They're cheaper than Kroger's on most things that I purchase regularly...and they have some products that I loooove that Kroger's no longer carries.

So guess where I plan to do most of my shopping from now on?

Well...until the new

Fresh Market

opens, anyway.

(sigh) Gawd, I'm old. And fickle.

A trilogy of tales

2010-07-12T10:40:00.011-05:00

What's more fun than a barrel of monkeys?

Pammy in a hotel full of Jehovah's Witnesses.

Seriously.

I took my granddaughter home this past weekend and stayed to help the Princess find a wedding dress. Which, after shopping all bloody day, she didn't find.

Anywho...

The hotel I stayed at was chock full'o Witnesses for some kinda convention...or meeting...or

akelarre

.

Whatever the hell they have. Every time I went out to my friggin car, there was some kinda flyer on it. Which was promptly wadded up by yours truly and flung to the ground, accompanied by some quite...ah...colorful...and loud...expletives.

Ships and sails and pirate tales

Saturday, the girls took me to lunch at

Sharky's

In spite of the fact that the ole Mississloppy is flooded and we had to get there via boat...or maybe because we hadda get there by boat...it was just the coolest place.

And we saw the damndest thing.

A real, live, honest ta gawd Pirate ship!

As I understand it, some guy with a big cabin cruiser and more money than sense decided he really wanted a pirate ship. So he...repurposed...his boat and re-christened it The Gypsy Rose. It even has some kinda cannon-thingy that shoots out black Nerf balls...awesome!

I tell ya...it's just not every day ya get to see a priate ship sailing up the Mississippi River.

Home again, home again, jiggety-jig

Upon my return home, after being laid off for exactly two weeks....I discovered that I'd been called back. In fact, I got called back the very day I received my ok from unemployment.

Go figure.

Now, on one hand, of course I'm glad. I loved my job and I'm well on my way to ensure a half-way decent retirement. On the other hand, I'm somewhat apprehensive. My duties will be changing, as well as my schedule. Add to that, the fact that our fearless leader has made the comment...on more than one occasion...that this current layoff certainly would not be the last.

Two weeks ago, on my last day of work, I cried all the way home. I honestly didn't realize how traumatic it would be and I don't know if I can go through that again.

Nevertheless, I was extremely glad to get back home to my own river.

This sight greeted me last night.

And this, this morning.

We might not have a pirate ship, but we've got the Spirit.

(As with all photos, click to enlarge.)

If I hear the name "Justin Bieber" one more time...

2010-07-08T20:13:00.006-05:00

...I'm gonna ram pencils in my ears and twirl 'em around until my eardrums are completely fubar'd.

My 10 year old grandbebe has been here since Monday.

We've shopped, went swimming, shopped some more, boated, watched movies, went swimming again, built a bear, shopped again, lunched at Avanti's and the Smo-King Pit in the mall, went fishing and oh...did I mention we shopped? If I never see Northwoods Mall again, it'll be too soon, too.

Sluuurrrpppping up some Avanti's spaghetti...Italian-style.

Ain't she cute? Even being unhappy at having to wear an old, smelly life jacket.

I'm taking her home tomorrow...and I'll miss her. She's become a "little person" with a quirky personality and a dry sense of humor...she reminds me so much of my dad...the way she phrases some things. And that's kinda funny...he never had the opportunity to meet her, dammit. He'd have been as crazy about her as he was my daughter...maybe more.

I was glad she got to see the

Nina and the Pinta

sail by the house this morning.

Well...replicas of 'em, anyway.

She proclaimed them "kinda cool".

But not as cool as Justin Bieber.

Aaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhhh!

Reflection

2010-07-01T19:19:00.005-05:00

The river was unusually calm yesterday evening and I managed to catch the reflection of the twilight-ish sky in the water.

I also managed to catch my first fish of the season, a little perch.

They were biting like crazy...but "they" were mostly 10-12 inch channel cats...not big enough to mess with. I did manage to snag a really nice sized bullhead, though. Now I just need a couple-three of his buddies to join him in the freezer.

I should have taken photos of da Zigster and me trying to clean him. It took a ball-peen hammer, a butcher knife, a paring knife, a pair of pliers and both of us to kill and dress the damn thing. Neither of us has skinned and gutted a catfish in a lotta years, so it took a while, but we got 'er done.

Now that I'm "officially" unemployed, I plan to do a lotta fishin.

Jeremy Wade

I ain't....but I'm gonna do a lotta fishin, anywho.

Maybe the end is near

2010-06-25T17:45:00.004-05:00

Floods, swarms and eyeball-blistering heat. We got 'em all.

The river is waaaaay high. I don't think it'll get high enough that we have to boat in and out again. That's fortunate. We can't even get to our boat right now...unless we wanna swim to it. The stairs that lead down to the marina are flooded and there's no way to get to the dock...unless ya swim.

And today, there's an enormous mayfly bloom goin on. The biggest I've ever seen. Millions and millions of the ethereal little floaties. Everywhere.

They're really drawn to the neighbor's home. I'm assuming it's something to do with color. Our house is pale blue and we don't have nearly as many congregating here.
(Click on all photos to enlarge.)

They're also really attracted to our tiger lily bushes.

And the heat. Good gawd. It's supposed to get up to 95 tomorrow with a heat index of 105. Lovely.

Ah well. Summertime in Illinois.

Feeling bettah

2010-06-18T19:30:00.005-05:00

I'm still bummed about losing my job. Sorta.

But I'm starting to actually look forward to it. A little.

Ok, a lot.

Now that I know it's coming, I'm already gone. In my head, anyway. My body's still there. Mostly.

I'd be really happy if this damned weather would cooperate. It's beastly hot, a storm blows through, dumps a couple of inches of rain and drops the temp 20 degrees, it blows over, the sun comes out, the temperature goes back up to 90 and the humidity closely follows.

It's like living in Florida...without the driverless Buicks putting down the highway at a hair-raising 35 miles an hour.

Case in point: this afternoon's storm, blowing in over the river.

(This photo made WEEK TV's weathercast at 6 tonight.)

Even a bad day on the river is better than...

2010-06-06T20:28:00.006-05:00

....uh. Wait. There's nothing better than a bad day on the river.

We haven't had a bad day on the river yet. And yesterday was no exception...it was absolutely, positively gorgeous. 82 degrees...a little bit of breeze...no humidity.

Awesome.

Ziggy, in his element, singin along with Buffett.

And what is so rare as a day in June? Then, if ever, come perfect days. - James Russell Lowell

Cotton candy clouds.

And then it got kinda scary-lookin...

...then the clouds parted and it was beautiful again.

I swear...a few hours on that boat is absolute soul-soothing therapy.

I really needed to see this today

2010-06-04T20:04:00.004-05:00

I've been really down in the dumps after getting the "official" word on Tuesday that I'll be out of a job on June 30. Actually, I'm afraid I'm sliding from "down in the dumps" to "clinical depression". I hate that I'm just so.....sad.

For almost four years, all I've heard is how important my job was...what a great service to the community...how meaningful it was. And now?

Eh. Not so much.

I think that's what bothers me the most. That and the fact that I have no fucking clue as to what I'll do now. I do know that I'll never go back to hospital nursing. I not only don't want to, but physically, I'm pretty sure that my bum knee just won't handle the 8 or 12 hour shifts anymore.

Frankly, I'm not even sure I want to stay in nursing, at all.

I've been really tempted to pick up the cigarettes again, too. In fact, I want one...right now. But I won't. I've come too far to screw it up now.

This perked me up a little, too. It was just so pretty.

We had one of those pop up spring showers earlier this afternoon...while the sun was still shining, even...and the rainbow and the unusual cloud formation was (were?) the result.

Ah well. I'll snap out of it, I'm sure.

Eventually.

Depressed, dejected and disgusted

2010-05-22T10:02:00.004-05:00

Will she or won't she be
dooced
?

This'll be the first weekend since we've bought the boat that it will be decent enough to get it out. If not for that fact, I'd probably sit out on the deck and drown my sorrows in a margarita...or six.

Hell, maybe I can kill two birds with one stone. I'll sit on the boat and drown my sorrows with a margarita or six.

I'm depressed because after June 30th, I'll no longer have a job.

I'm dejected because I friggin love my job, my boss and the people I work with, and not only am I being pink-slipped, the job itself will cease to exist. There's no possibility I...or any of us...can be called back.

Poof! Gone with the wind.

I'm thoroughly disgusted with the whole friggin government...from the White House to the State of Illinois...oh, especially with the State of Illinois...right on down to Peoria County.

It's the trickle-down theory in action, doncha know?

My head understands that grant money is grant money and general funds are general funds and never the twain shall meet. My head also understands that you have to live within a budget and be fiscally responsible...especially with other people's money.

But my heart is having a damn hard time accepting the fact that, while five or six ...what I consider to be essential programs...not to mention 35-40 positions...are being eliminated, they continue to hire Executive-Directors-of-This and Administrative-Assistants-of-That; they continue to plan a total remodeling project; they recently bought property that sits adjacent to the building because they need more room.

Ya know, that kinda shit just plain hurts.

I guess they'll have plenty of room now...with damn near a quarter of the employees gone.

I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised. I mean, we are talking about the "government", after all. And since when has anything they've done since signing the Constitution really made any sense?

There are so many things about this action that are just...wrong.

I really don't think that the powers that be have any idea the impact that this will have on the people we serve and the community as a whole. I don't think they really understand just exactly what it is that we do.

And I'm pretty sure they could give a rat's ass about the people's lives they're totally fucking up. Oh, I'll be fine. But there are an awful lot of other people that won't. And that just breaks my heart.

Ah well. I just keep reminding myself...it's the government and the government's being run by politicians.

Why should I be the least bit surprised?

I think I might live

2010-05-17T15:49:00.004-05:00

Whatever that was, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Ok, I might wish it on my worst enemy.

I woke up Friday morning with a sore throat. By Friday night, I was sure I was gonna die. Chills and fever, body aches, headache, stuffy nose...check, check, check and check.

I had it all. Even my damn hair hurt.

I alternated between the sofa and the bed for three straight days...totally shot the whole weekend...but today I felt pretty good.

I'm pretty sure it wasn't H1N1...I've been vaccinated. But whatever it was, it was damn ugly.

The only bright spot in the whole weekend...other than losing 7 pounds...was the news that I'd won

Relic's Quirky Landmark Contest

for last week.

Yippee! I won a $10 gift cert from Relics and a free pastry from

Cracked Pepper Bakery

.

That made me feel a little better.

Now there's somethin ya don't hear every day, Chauncy

2010-05-03T17:41:00.002-05:00

(I dunno where that saying came from, but my parents used to say it.)

I stopped by

Relics

, 3402 NE Adams this afternoon.

I love the quirky, funky little shop...it offers antiques, really unusual and sorta vintage jewelry...oh, just a little of everything.

And their customer service just can't be beat.

I found a couple of pieces of jewelry that I just couldn't live without. I took 'em up to the counter and very nice young man greeted me...I think it was the owner. I was thrilled with my "finds", but disappointed to learn they don't take credit cards.

Unfortunately, I had exactly two dollars and some change in my billfold...and here's the conversation that ensued:

Me: "You don't take credit cards?"

Him: "No, sorry. Cash or check only."

Me: "Ahhh...ok. Well can you hold these for me and I'll stop in later this afternoon. I have some other errands and I'll hit the ATM before coming back."

Him: "Do you live around here? Or work?"

Me: "I live in Chillcothe, but work here in town."

Him: "Well, just take the stuff and stop in tomorrow and pay for it."

Me: ......(standing there with my mouth open)

Him: "Really. It's fine. Just take it and stop in tomorrow."

Me: "Oh, no, no...I'll run my errands and stop at the ATM."

So that's what I did.

But I still can't believe he offered to let me just take the stuff with just my word that I'd be back to pay for it.

I must have a really honest face. heh

It's about time, doncha think?

2010-04-26T19:48:00.006-05:00

Day after tomorrow, we'll have lived here at the River Rat Retreat for three years.
Damn! Time flies when you're havin fun, eh?

Aaaanywho, we've lived right damn-smack on the river for three years without a boat...until now.

Our newest toy is a 16' Mark Twain Runabout. It's in excellent condition...the guy that we bought it from took exceptional care of it...and it shows.

We bought it Saturday...and, of course, it rained all day. It rained all day Sunday, too, so we haven't had a "maiden" voyage, yet.

It's supposed to rain next weekend, as well. But I'm thinkin we'll be out on that river next weekend, no matter what the weather is.

'Course, a boat has to have a name. Any suggestions?

My eyes hurt

2010-04-21T16:38:00.005-05:00

Dear Sir,

You look to be in your late 70's/early 80's, though I'm not a very good judge of age. You look to be in pretty good shape for an old guy. You're not obese, but you're not one of those old, ropy-looking guys, either.

You obviously try to take care of yourself because I see you swimming laps at the pool nearly every time I go.

You more than likely served our country proudly in the Phillipines or perhaps in France or England...you might've even been one of the lucky ones who survived Omaha Beach or Normandy. If you're younger than I think, it might've been Korea.

You probably have a lovely wife, whom you've been married to for over 50 years and you might have a grandchild or two.

In other words, you look like a perfectly nice, fairly well-maintained old gentleman. As such, I suppose you're entitled to wear pretty much whatever pleases you.

But, for the love of gawd, man....if you feel that you must wear a Speedo, could you try to do a little...ah...manscaping on the old, gray pubes?

Sincerely,

A fellow swimmer

If he'd draw a smiley-face on the crotch of his Speedos, he'd look exactly like Chester B. Arthur.

Ya know...there are some things that just sear themselved onto your ole retinas and ya can't ever get rid of the image.

(sigh)

Invasion of the Pammy Snatchers

2010-04-16T16:40:00.002-05:00

I don't wanna toot my own horn, but...

I LOST 5.6 POUNDS!

In one week. And I didn't even suffer. Much.

So I joined Weight Watchers a week ago today. I also joined the Y again and started water walking in their TURTTLE pool. I don't know what TURTTLE stands for. I assume it's some kinda acronym, but maybe somebody just didn't know how to spell TURTLE. So anywho, this pool is like a channel, 3 ft. deep (which hits me just under my boobs) and has a fairly strong current.

The idea is to...well...walk (or jog) around it, as the water makes it really easy on the joints and the current helps with the whole resistance thing. While it's not anywhere near close to say...running a 5K, it IS way more exercise than I'm used to, for sure. It's a good workout if you do it right.

Aaaanyway...somehow I arrived at the deduction that I should walk the pool for 30 minutes, three times a week.

So, here's the running conversation I have in my head while I'm walking:

The first 5 minutes: "Ohhhh...the water feels good. This is great...not too crowded. This 30 minutes will fly by. Awww...look at the old couple...aren't they sweet, bless their hearts."

The 15 minute mark: "Damn. I've only been in here 15 minutes? Why don't those two old guys stop running their yaps and get outa my way?"

The 20 minute mark: "I fucking HATE this fucking water. Why in the hell did I ever decide that I needed to do this for thirty fucking minutes? And why has my OCD decided to kick in now, essentially forcing me to finish the whole 30 minutes or something horrible will happen? Move your saggy ass, you old gurn!"

The 25 minute mark: "For chrissake! Is that fucking clock stopped? I'm startin to look like Pruny McPruneass. Oh. My. Gawd. Please promise me if I ever get that old, you'll kill me."

The 30 minute mark: "Wow! 30 minutes? Already? That wasn't bad at all!"

I dunno why, but I feel like this attempt to lose weight is different. Maybe it's because I had such an easy time quitting smoking. I feel like maybe...just maybe...no, I feel like I will do it.

I don't have any wild illusions that I'll become truly thin. Ain't gonna happen. I just want to be at a weight that I feel good at...and I'm pretty sure I can get there.

I figure by this weekend, Ziggy's gonna start lookin for pods in the basement.

Nuclear

2010-04-13T18:58:00.003-05:00

I suppose because of the atmospheric conditions this morning, the sun looked like a giant, glowing drop of pure gold.

I like to take pictures of the sunrise. I only see 'em three times a week. heh

I did 30 minutes of walking and 20 or so minutes of stretching/lollygagging in the pool at the Y today. Good gawd...I was so freakin relaxed on the drive home, I thought I might fall asleep. It felt goooood.

Now if I can just do that three times a week....

Spppprrrrrooooiiiiinnnnngggggg!!

2010-04-12T17:59:00.007-05:00

That's the sound of spring...well...springing...around here.

The pelicans are back! The pelicans are back!

The Mallards, however...well, they never leave...

Maggie and Milton take a stroll around the yard.

Everything's blooming and I'm so ready to start planting I can't stand it. I'm trying to hold off until at least the 25th...there's been many a time I've gotten antsy to plant and had everything freeze when we got a hard frost at the end of April.

But this waiting stuff is damn hard for an impatient person.

In other news, I joined Weight Watchers last week. I've gained almost 20 pounds since I quit smoking (I'm still doing great at that, thankfully.) and I've got to do something. Ya know...I know WW works great for some people...but damn...is it ever a racket. I can't see myself being a "member" for too awful long...I'm just not a "joiner". I figure if I can quit smoking, I can surely stop shoving food into my mouth. Surely. heh

I also joined the Y again to use their walking pool. I think that'll probably help as much as anything. That, however, entailed buying a new swim suit.

Oh. My. Gawd. I feel awful sorry for all those other folks that show up to use the pool at the same time as me.

And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

Wish me luck...I'm gonna need it.

If you're not already scared (and you should be)...

2010-04-01T18:22:00.005-05:00

...this oughta terrify you.

So how many more just like him are in Congress?

""My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize."

Later, a staffer tried to explain that he was speaking "metaphorically".

Yea. Right. Sure as shit didn't sound like he was speaking metaphorically.

In fact, I'd be really surprised if he knows what a freakin metaphor is.

Gawd help us all.

Swiped from

Pam

Have you had your leafy greens today?

2010-03-30T17:48:00.005-05:00

Mmmmmmm.....kale.

Next time you're at the grocery store, grab a bundle of the squiggly-leafed, dark green super-food.

Bring it home, give it a quick rinse and a shake, strip it off the woody stem and chop it up...the whole bundle. Trust me.

Now put a little olive oil in a pan. Chop up a half a big onion and brown it. Chop a couple-three nice chicken breasts...bite sized pieces. Throw it in the pan. When the chickie is browned, grate in 3 or 4 nice big cloves of garlic...or to your own taste and season with some kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper.

Now throw in the kale. All of it. Drizzle a little more EVOO over the top, put a lid on it and turn the heat down. Let it cook...oh...I dunno...10 minutes. Until all the kale wilts down.

While you're wilting the kale, throw on a big pot of water and cook up some whole wheat pasta of your choice. Personally, I like linguine or fettuccine.

Drain the pasta, reserving a ladle-full of the starchy water. Throw the starchy water into the pan of chicken and kale and add the pasta.

Toss all together and eat it up.

No news is good news

2010-03-26T17:55:00.005-05:00

Or so they say.

Damn. I used to be a pretty prolific blather-er...uh...I mean blogger. I used to post fairly frequently. I used to write reasonably intelligent, sometimes funny posts. I used to feel like I had something to say.

Pffffffttttttt! It's kinda like this...

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

I could rant about the current political climate...but it just that...ranting. I'll keep quiet until November.

I could talk about work. But what's to say? I still love my job even though it's busier than ever.

I could bitch and whine about how getting older is a pain in the ass...and every where else. But like...who cares? Most of us boomers are in the same boat.
At least the ole knee is feeling better. That

Synvisc

stuff seems to be working like it's 'sposta.

I could brag about how it's been over three months since I had my last cigarette...but in deference to da Zigster, I won't. Unfortunately, he's having a harder time kickin it than I am, bless him wittle heart.

Oh...I got a new vacuum cleaner. I've been drooling over the Dyson's for a year or so...finally broke down and bought a

D 24 All Floors

And baby...does it ever suck. In a good way, I mean. And I got one helluva deal on it on Overstock.com...damn near a hundred bucks off! It makes it suck even bettah!

Gawd. What the hell's happened to me? I'm singing the praises of a vacuum, fer gawd's sake. Kill me.

In other shopping news, I got a new camera, too. On the recommendation of my neighbor, who's an awesome photog, I got a

Fujifilm Finepix s1800

I figure it'll take me six months to a year to figure the damn thing out. And even then, who the hell do I think I am? Ansel-fucking-Adams?

So that's what's new with me.

Absofuckinglutely nothing.

Except a vacuum and a camera.

Pitiful.

"Vote no but take the dough"

2010-03-19T13:33:00.000-05:00

Can't believe the local news didn't pick up on Boy Wonder Aaron Schock making NBC Nightly News' Fleecing of America segment last night.

The vid is

here

On one hand it is the perfect example of political hypocrisy at it's finest. On the other had, I kinda see his point. If we're gonna hafta pay for it, we might as well benefit from it.

And I'm pretty sure he'd have caught holy hell from most of his constituents if he hadn't tried to go after some of the money.

Politics.

Leaves a nasty taste in my mouth just sayin the word.

A knee in need

2010-03-15T14:23:00.002-05:00

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Well, that hurt like a mofo.

Saw the ortho doc today. For exactly 42 seconds. Just long enough for him to look at the x-ray and agree with his PA. The asshole didn't even shake my hand.

Wonder just how much he charges for 42 seconds? Prick.

His PA, on the other hand, was awesome.

He agreed with me. My knee is fubar'd. But he also agreed that a new knee wasn't really an option, considering that they only last for about 10 years and I'm only 55.

So I got a shot of

Synvisc

in my knee joint.

I had my choice of 3 injections, several days apart or a one-time big one. I chose the big one. And it was a big dose of liquid with a consistency similar to corn syrup.

Son. of. a. bitch. Felt like my knee exploded from the inside out.

But it's supposed to last 6 months. It's a damned good thing...I don't know as I could stand to get 'em any more often.

I wanted to stop at Menard's on the way outa town, so I headed out Allen Road. I happened to notice the car in front of me, a white Impala. Actually, I noticed the plate...PRD WHT...and a number.

I hope it didn't mean what I assumed it to mean.

But I think it probably did.

They turned into WalMart.

Ya just can't get good help anymore

2010-03-08T15:27:00.011-06:00

I don't know what we did, pre-cat, when we had something to put together.

Because obviously we just can't construct a damn thing without their help and support.

Ahem.

I've been looking for a new dining table for several months, but couldn't find exactly what I wanted. Until I stopped by Pier 1 on Saturday.

I loved it, but it did require a little DIY construction. Thankfully, I happen to be lucky enough to have an honest-ta-gawd, real, live handyman at my beck and call.

And a couple of cats.

Simon supervises.

"He's not doin it right!"

Both da boys get in on the "helping" action.

Simon makes sure that Ziggy stays on task by holding him down.

Construction complete, Simon grabs a well-deserved snooze. Hey...supervising is hard work.

In other news...I went to the doc this morning. The good news is that my blood pressure was 110/78 and my cholesterol was 158!

The bad news is that I'm now "officially" a Type II diabetic and my left knee is truly and completely fucked. My doc thinks I need a knee replacement. I think I'm gonna put that little adventure off as long as I can. I have an appointment with an ortho next week, so we'll see what he thinks.

Oh, and to add insult to injury, I've gained 8 pounds since I quit smoking. I suppose I should be thankful it was only 8. (sigh)

But I can't figure out how I managed to lower my cholesterol and raise my blood sugar and gain weight...all while working like hell to eat healthy.

I'm not kiddin...I've cut out damn near all carbs...no bread, potatoes, rolls, donuts, cake, cookies, pasta (sob!); no sugar, no fast foods, no junk foods...and I still gained weight.

In the last month or so, I've even fixed a couple of recipes using

kale

, fer chrissake!

Kale!

Riverside

2010-02-27T13:25:00.005-06:00

Seein lotsa eagles and some very pretty full moons. But what I'd really like to see this snow gone, some green grass and something blooming. (sigh)

I'm sooooo ready for spring.

I'm allegedly blogging

2010-02-19T17:21:00.003-06:00

I'd like for some legal-type to tell me just exactly how many "allegedly"s need to be used in an article like

this

'Cause...like...is six really enough?

I mean...if he "allegedly" grabbed her by the hair, shouldn't he have "allegedly" put handcuffs on her? And why didn't he "allegedly" threaten to slit her throat?

What the fuck kinda alleged journalists are these colleges crankin out, anyway?

Morons.
__________________________

Yea, I'm a little bummed that we're expecting yet another 3-5 inches of snow this weekend.

I wanna wear my sandals! I wanna sit out on the deck and listen to Buffett! I wanna run around the yard barefoot and nekkid!

Ok, I really don't do that last one. But I would if I could.
__________________________

Dear Tiger Woods,

You're "deeply sorry". My ass. You're only sorry because you got caught and had several million in endorsements/possible tournament wins yanked. Keep your entitled dick in your pants and your mouth shut. You're a fucking golfer. Big. Hairy. Deal.
__________________________

Curling

Now that's my kinda sport. Even I could win a gold medal at the Olympics.
__________________________

Yea, I'm still not smoking. It'll be seven weeks Sunday.
__________________________

I missed my four-year Blogoversary at the beginning of this month. But actually, it's been closer to five years. I deleted 600+ posts of the very first version of Lolly I started.
__________________________

I'm thinking of starting yoga classes. Don't laugh. I'm pretty limber for a fat girl.
__________________________

I'm done now.

Eagles

2010-02-15T17:02:00.003-06:00

This past weekend was "Bald Eagle Days" around these parts. The magnificent birds are pretty plentiful in this area and are breathtaking to watch when they swoop and glide and dive.
Unfortunately, most of 'em favor our neighbor's trees rather than ours. (sigh)

And when more than a couple of 'em get together, they can get pretty noisy.

Que the theme from Twilight Zone

2010-02-12T17:55:00.003-06:00

The Zigster and I had the Captain include this quote in our wedding vows. It's by Oscar Wilde...and he's the reason we met in the first place.

Spooky. But absolutely appropriate.

Your Love Quote is Funny

Life is one fool thing after another where as love is two fool things after each other.

What Love Quote Suits You?

Blogthings: If Quizzes Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Take Quizzes

Snagged from the lovely

Leslie

Excuse me, Mr. LaHood...

2010-02-09T17:40:00.003-06:00

...but...ah...who, exactly...is "we"?

"We are not sleeping until this problem is fixed."

So speaks Secretary of Transportation and Peoria native, Ray La Hood, on the Great Toyota Recall of '10 tonight on NBC's Nightly News.

Who's "we", Ray? Got a turd in your pocket? And just exactly how much sleep have you lost over this?

And how many times did he answer Brian Williams' questions with, "We're gonna hold Toyota's feet to the fire!"?

And, when Williams questioned him about his previous, so-called "misstatement" when he made the public comment that everyone should stop driving their Toyotas?

"We're gonna hold their feet to the fire!"

Is it just me or did he remind anyone else of this?

Blah, blah, blah....

2010-02-08T17:32:00.004-06:00

...it's not just a title, it's a way of life.
______________________________

I haven't been out of the house since last Thursday.

We're supposed to get 6-8 inches of snow tonight, so I probably won't get out of the house until this Thursday, as I'm guessing we'll have a snow day tomorrow and I don't work on Wednesdays, anyway.

Yipee.
_______________________________

It's been 5 weeks and a day since I've smoked.

I still have the urge every 30 minutes or so, though.
_______________________________

Sarah Palin doesn't have to use a damn teleprompter...she uses

notes scribbled on her hand

...like most 11th graders. Which is just about where I've got her intelligence pegged at.
Caribou Barbie's voice grates on my ears like fingernails on a chalkboard.
You betcha!
_______________________________

That uber-classy (yes, I'm being sarcastic) Chicago pawnbroker,

Scott Lee Cohen

...does he have a textbook case of narcissistic personality with a side of sociopathic personality disorder...or is he just plain stupid?
________________________________

I fucking hate snow. And I'm gettin damn sick and tired of the weather people calling it a "snow event". It's a fucking snowstorm, you imbeciles. An "event" is something you look forward to...like...a prom. Or a wedding. I do not look forward to schlepping through ass-deep snow and freezing all my little delicate parts off, thankyouverymuch.
________________________________

Oh...and as if giving up the smokes isn't enough, I'm desperately trying to avoid the carbs and eat healthy.

I want a fucking donut. And a piece of pie.
________________________________

It's pretty bad when I feel like all I have to look forward to is the next episode of

Hoarders

because it makes me feel so much better about my own housekeeping abilities.
________________________________

Maybe I have cabin fever.

Ya think?

Sniff.....sniff....

2010-02-03T16:05:00.007-06:00

One of the advantages of not smoking (aside from the obvious, of course) is that I can smell things better. More...intensely.

In a house with two cats and a man, that's not always a good thing.

As a perfume "collector", though...well...it's only intensified my love of the good-smellin stuff. And since I'm not spendin my money on ciggies, I can satisfy my olfactory urges a little more frequently. So I have.

Nice Mr. UPS man delivered my newest acquisition today.

Aquolina's Pink Sugar

Which doesn't really smell like sugar. It's more like...vanilla/caramel-y. It's luscious, though I don't usually like the overly sweet perfumes. It's got just enough of an edge of...something...that tones down the sweetness a bit.

Though it's not as new as the Pink Sugar, another I've recently acquired is

Lolita Lempicka

Funny name. Fabulous scent. Soft. Not overly flowery or sweet. Interesting. And the bottle is like a little piece of art.

I've always loved lemony scents. Since Pledge doesn't make a perfume, I found one that satisfies my citrus craving.

Fresh's Sugar Lemon

It smells like a took a bath in a vat of extra-tart lemonade. Fresh and vibrant and spicy...Yummy!

Though it's not really new, one of my all-time favorite 'fumes is

Philosophy's Amazing Grace

I love the incongruity and irony of associating the name with moi...I am amazingly not graceful...as much as I do the lovely, clean scent.

I really don't think you have to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on good perfume. Unless you can, of course. Then...well...lucky you!

Strangely enough, I ordered every one of these online...without ever sampling them...based solely on the description and/or reviews.

I lucked out.

And I'm keeping the nice Mr. UPS man busy.

Pardon me while I redefine myself

2010-02-01T18:08:00.002-06:00

I suppose that's what I've been doing for the last few weeks. Redefining myself as a non-smoker. Ex-smoker. No-longer-smoker.

I don't smoke anymore.

I don't smoke anymore.

Wait. I can't do this. Yes. Yes, I can do this. I'm doing it.

It's been a whole month. A little over 4 weeks. 29 days. Since I've had a cigarette.

I just shut it off. No drugs. No patches or gum. Just...stopped. And I had become a heavy smoker. Like 2-3 packs a day heavy.

I still can't believe it and I'm having a hard time figuring out what to do now...ya know? Like...who I am.

I know that surely sounds stupid to those of you that don't smoke...have never smoked. Hell, it sounds kinda stupid to me. But there it is. It's the way I feel.

I'm having a hard time figuring out who I am now that I'm a non-smoker. I mean...it's been with me for so long. A good 35+ years. That's a long time to have a best friend.

I can't imagine what a drug addict that kicks the habit or an alcoholic who stops drinking feels like. On second thought, yea...I probably do know. Probably much the same as I do right now.

Kinda....lost.

I'll surely get the hang of it...sooner or later.

Shaking my head

2010-01-21T17:13:00.007-06:00

There were a couple of things that I caught in our local paper this week that...well...after I got done yelling at the computer screen (I read the

PJStar

online), I just sat there and shook my head.

The Rev. James McDonald of Providence Church in Morton got the congregation started with some inciteful words.

He cited the estimated 50 million abortions performed in the United States since the Roe vs. Wade decision.

"It's amazing to me that God has not executed righteous judgment against this nation," McDonald said. "If any nation deserves the hand of God, it is the United States.

"We look at the Holocaust. . . . The Jews who were slaughtered in Nazi Germany just pales in comparison."

First of all, to the writer of the above-mentioned story, a Mr. Gary Childs...sir, there is no such word as "inciteful". Insightful, yes. Inciting, yes. "Inciteful", no. No. No. No.

Good gawd. I are a journalist.

And...Mr. McDonald, I'm pretty sure the Jews might have a bit of a problem with the last sentence of your statement. In fact, I have a big problem with that statement.You should be ashamed.

However, thank you for further enforcing my own particular atheistic leanings. If you're a good representation of a Christian, then I'll pass, thankyewverymuch.

Then, there was this little

gem

A former Peoria School District 150 principal who suddenly resigned earlier this month did so after he was confronted about his Internet activity.

More than 50 pages of "deny logs" document how in a two-week span Philip Hise attempted to get around the district's Internet security to visit dozens of pornographic Web sites and view hundreds of photos from his office computer at Charles Lindbergh Middle School.

So, this guy...a principal at a middle school...cruised porn sites...during school hours...knowing full well that the district had security in place to keep people from viewing "unauthorized" sites.

This is a man with a friggin college education, fer chrissakes. He didn't know that everything he did online at work could be traced??

What. The. Fuck?

I'd ask the question "How dumb could he be?", but I suppose that's pretty obvious, huh?

I know it's a stretch...

2010-01-18T19:16:00.004-06:00

...but hey..."my pickup gets me where I please...chuggin down the street"

Leslie

asked for my support... and she's got it.

She sez:
"Inspired by Mrs. Who, I think it's time for a little Truck Bomb to blow the doors right off the Coakley campaign (which of course blames Bush for the whole darned thing heading south). Got a pick up truck song that's a particular fave? Or a photo? Or a story? Post 'em at your blog and either drop a link in my comments or email me. I know you can do it!"

Here's my offering for the "truck bomb" for

Scott Brown

In case you live under a rock and have no idea what I'm talkin about, go see

Pam

She explains it perfectly.

Soup or sandwich?

2010-01-17T20:32:00.002-06:00

I'll have both.

(Stock photo...mine wasn't nearly as purty.)

Squash Soup must be trendy...every time I turn on a Food Network program, somebody is fixing squash soup.

Gawd help me, but it sure looked good...trendy or not. So I went a'huntin for a good, simple recipe, and Alton Brown had one.

That was my "project" for yesterday. I'll give you his recipe...then tell ya what I did differently.

6 C (about 2 large) Butternut squash, seeded, peeled and cut into 2 inch chunks
Melted butter for brushing
1 T kosher salt
1 t white pepper
3 C chicken or vegetable stock
4 T honey
1 t minced ginger
4 oz. heavy cream
1/4 t nutmeg

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Brush the flesh of the squash with a little butter and season with salt and pepper. Lay the squash on a sheet pan and roast for about 30-35 minutes or until flesh is soft.
When it's all nice and tender, put it in a pot and add the stock, honey and ginger. Bring to a simmer and puree using a stick blender. Stir in the heavy cream and return to a slow simmer. Season with salt, pepper and nutmeg.
*******************

First off, good luck finding 2 "large" butternut squash. I used 3 small ones, cut 'em in half, scooped out the seeds, spritzed 'em with a little white truffle oil and sprinkled with salt and pepper...the black kind. Then I roasted 'em at 400 until tender. When they cooled, I scooped all the flesh out, threw it in a pot and added chicken stock, salt, pepper, probably 3 T honey, probably a teaspoon and a half...maybe two...of ground ginger and half a nutmeg nut, grated.

Then I pureed it all together with my handy-dandy little stick blender, turned the heat to simmer and let 'er rip for an hour or so. When it was time to serve, I stirred in a half cup...maybe 3/4, even...of fat-free Half & Half.

YUM!

It's a sweet/savory soup. I'm glad I didn't use the whole 4 T honey it called for. I think it would have been too sweet.

I served it with some open-faced sammies made with a slice of toasted french bread, a slice of deli roast beef and some nice gouda cheese all melty over the top.

It was an awesome supper for a cold, dreary winter evening.

Oh...and today is my 2-week mark of being a non-smoker! Two weeks! I can hardly believe it.

Hunting

2010-01-15T18:12:00.006-06:00

I managed to grab a few shots of a couple of Bald Eagles yesterday. They hung out in the tree for the longest time, watching the river for signs of lunch, I suppose.

We haven't seen as many this winter as we usually do...and when we do, they don't hang around to pose for photos. heh

That's not a bit funny...

2010-01-13T17:18:00.002-06:00

...dammit.

Rock songs for the elderly. heh

Thanks, Cat!

Maybe Al Gore's on to something

2010-01-11T11:43:00.006-06:00

Nahhh

Though the temp is up to a whole 20 degrees today, there's not much global warming goin on around here.

Stewie took a minute out of his busy schedule to do a little wistful bird watching.

I'm half-way through my eighth day of being a non-smoker. So far, it hasn't been too bad. Oh, there are times I want one...like right now...but thankfully, the urge passes pretty fast. We don't have any in the house, so that helps, too. If we did, I'm not so sure I'd have been able to resist.

I know everything says to try to avoid your smoking "triggers". Unfortunately, it's kinda hard to go take a walk or even get outside right now, so I've found that I seem to do ok by just kinda...pushing through the triggers.

It's really funny...I find that the absolute worst times for me aren't after a meal or with my coffee in the morning or when driving. It's when I'm cleaning or cooking or just generally doing crap around the house. See, I'd take "breaks" every now and then...sit down with a coffee and a cigarette. It was my "treat" for...doing whatever it was I was doing that I felt I needed a treat for. heh I miss that. I really miss that.

Anywho, I never thought in a million years that I'd be able to do this cold turkey. Hell, I didn't think I'd do it at all. Or at least, without being in a freaking coma.

And, if I stumble...and I'm not kidding myself...I might...at least I know I can do it again. It can be done.

Yes, Virginia...

2010-01-08T18:29:00.005-06:00

...you can freeze your ass off in Illinois.

Thanks,

Connie!

Unfortunately, my ass always seems to grow back.

It's damn cold here. Down to 0 tonight with winds up to 35 mph, making the wind chill some ridiculously, astronomically low number. Thankfully, I don't have to be out in it...unlike da Zigster, bless him heart.

Nevertheless, it's pretty damn chilly here in our normally-cozy riverside retreat.
********************************

In other news...get this...I've quit smoking. Well, both da Zigster and I have...neither of us could do it without the other. Yup. Cold turkey, baby. Haven't had a ciggie since last Sunday night...damn...that's five, whole days! If I do say so myself, it's going remarkably well.

Oh, I miss it...bad, sometimes...but I think it's more the "habit" part than the nicotine. I think I'm pretty much over the withdrawal part. (knocking wood)

Though I know I'll be healthier for it, that's not the reason I...eh...we...quit. It was just gettin too damn expensive. To be honest, if it wasn't so expensive, I'd keep smokin, if for no other reason than to piss the smoking nazis off.

So how's all that extra "sin tax" on cigarettes workin for ya, Illinois? Ya jacked the price up so high...in order to drum up revenue...that nobody can afford it. So there goes your revenue. Dumbasses.

I'm not holdin my breath, no pun intended...this is really my first "serious" attempt...but I'm feelin good about it. So far.
*********************************

I'll probably get my name slapped right on ole Janet's "watch list" for mentioning this, but I once had a Kurdish lover.

Sounds like the beginning of a bad limerick, huh?

Anyway, he was a very intelligent, tender, insightful, incredibly interesting young man. He was a good friend. He was an honest-ta-gawd morale booster when I needed it the most.

And he's gone.

And that's all I'll say about that. Except that I'm kinda sad right now.

Khoda hafaz...salam aleikam.

Blue moon

2009-12-31T19:45:00.000-06:00

Tonight's New Year's Eve blue moon is the first since 1990. Another won't roll around for another 19 years.

Here's wishing y'all a very Happy New Year!

Here....we go.....again

2009-12-30T16:29:00.000-06:00

I have a blog and know how to use it

Read that and weep, you bitches of commerce.

Remember back a scant six months ago when I said

As gawd is my witness...I'll never go without hot water again

?

Yea. Well.

Our three thousand dollar

Navien Natural Gas On-Demand Hot Water Heater

took a gigantic poop last night.

And the geniuses (and I use that term very sarcastically) at Navien haven't a clue as to how to fix the gawddamned thing.

Our plumber spent about three hours working on it today. After he exhausted all of his "expertise", he called the company, who proclaimed, after instructing him to turn this valve on and switch that switch off and clean out that tube and push that button three times while turning around seven times and chanting, "It's fixed! It's fixed! It's fixed!" that voila!...it's fixed and should be working fine.

Yea...it's working fine...we get all the water we want...except it's as cold as a well digger's ass in Alaska.

I actually felt sorry for him...the same plumber, by the way...that installed this particular non-functioning, ridiculously expensive, Rube Goldbergian contraption that's supposed to be energy-efficient to the nth degree.

Screw you, too, Al Gore!

Fortunately, it's still under warranty, so even a total replacement is covered.

Unfortunately, no one is sure of exactly when it'll be fixed...and we're headed into what might be the coldest fucking part of the winter...as in temps of a big, fat 0...and below.

Which means no hot showers. We could do the whole boil-water-on-the-stove-and-fill-the-tub thing...except for the fact that it's so cold that the water will cool off like...really fast.

I won't say that Navien is a crappy company and that no one in their right mind should by a hot water heater from them.

But if it's not fixed in a couple of days....

Update

After two days of tryin to figure the damn thing out, countless calls between our plumber and Navien's tech support (which totally sucks, btw), it's fixed!

Got snow?

2009-12-27T11:28:00.001-06:00

Want some?

Cause...like...we've had enough.

It mostly missed Christmas day, but started Christmas night...and except for a few brief pauses, it hasn't really stopped since.

It's been great for bird-viewing, though.

It keeps da boyz pretty entertained, too.

Santa brought Ziggy a new wireless scanner/copier/printer for Christmas.

After six hours or so and three calls to India, we discovered that "wireless" is a relative term. It's only wireless if you have a wireless router...which we don't. (Well, hell...who knew? Our wireless mouse works, so....?)

He finally managed to get it to work...with a wire...but now, my photo uploading thingy is all fucked up with no unfuckedup-ness in sight. (sigh)

It was a real quiet Christmas here at the River Rat Retreat. Strangely enough, almost too quiet. I don't miss all the hassle of Christmasses-past (Valium, anyone?), but there's gotta be a happy medium somewhere. We weren't able to celebrate with the kids...too much scheduling conflict. Talk about your "nuclear" family...nuclear is right...all blown to hell.
We are planning a get-together next weekend...providing this fucking snow will just STOP.

That's kind of...anti-climactic, I guess. See...for me...Christmas is over when it's over. I'm done with it. I even yanked the tree down yesterday.

I dunno...I'm thinkin somewhere tropical for Christmas next year.

Like heroin to an addict

2009-12-23T16:58:00.000-06:00

There's a good reason they call it "Satan's Candy"

Because you're doomed to the very depths of hell when you take that first bite.

I know it's not for everyone, but if you're at all attracted by the whole sweet/salty thing...like me...you have to try this candy.

The original recipe is

here

While it sounded incredible, I just couldn't see using anything but a really good Kosher or sea salt. So, in true Pammy-fashion, I tweaked the recipe just the teeniest bit...and then made a double batch.

Satan's Candy

2 bags bittersweet...not semi-sweet...chocolate chips (I used Ghirardelli 60% Cacao Bittersweet Chocolate Chips)

2 bags white chocolate chips (I used Nestle Premium White Chocolate Chips)

2 cup creamy peanut butter (Plain, ole Jif works fine)

Kosher or sea salt

Melt the white chocolate chips in a large heat-proof glass bowl, immersed in a dutch oven filled with 2-3 inches of water. Or use a damn double-boiler if you have one. I improvised.

Stir until smooth. Evenly spread in a thin layer over a large foil-lined cookie sheet and set aside. In the same bowl, melt the bittersweet chocolate chips, stir until smooth, then stir in the peanut butter plus 2 tsp salt.

When the chocolate and peanut butter are completely mixed and melted, gently spread peanut butter mixture over the white chocolate. Sprinkle the top with more Kosher salt and refrigerate until set. Cut or break into pieces and don't blame me if you gain 5 pounds over the holidays.

Now, the original recipe added (before sprinkling the top with salt), "Marble with a fork so the white and dark chocolate is attractively swirled."

Good luck with that.

I tried it...and wound up just kind of mushing it all together...not so attractively. I think it would have probably worked had I let the chocolate/peanut butter mixture set just a bit before trying to swirl it.

At any rate, it's easy as pie...but far, far more addicting.

Merry Chrismoose!

Merry Christmas...fo' shizzle!

2009-12-21T17:48:00.000-06:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

And...from da boyz...

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Bittersweet

2009-12-19T10:08:00.000-06:00

I've always anticipated Christmas with the intensity of an 8 year old. What can I say? It's a bad case of arrested development, I guess.

For me, Christmas is all about home and family and friends. And presents. And food. And decorations. "Oooohhhh! Sparkly!"

I love decorating, though I really haven't done much this year. I love finding just the perfect presents for each family member...that's the most fun of all, I think. The food...well, obviously I love it all.

And...well...I love getting presents, too. There. I admit it.

For some reason, I've managed to pretty much ignore the rampant commercialism that surrounds Christmas. Oh...sometimes, I just have to say, "What the fuck?"...but mostly I just let it slide. Why bitch about something you have absolutely no chance of changing?

For the last 20 years, though...well...Christmas has been bittersweet.

Twenty years ago today, I lost my dad. It brings tears to my eyes to type that. On the other hand, thinking about what he'd say about what I just typed makes me smile.

I can just hear him..."You LOST me? What the hell?? What did I teach you about losing things??."

See, dad had a rather...ah...unusual...sense of humor. You couldn't have a serious conversation with him if your life depended on it. It absolutely infuriated my mom...which always made me happy. Ah, but that's a story better left for another time.

I could get all maudlin here and tell you what a great guy my dad was. How scary-smart he was for only having a sixth-grade education...and how funny...and how stubborn and mule-headed. And I could tell you how much he'd have found a kindred spirit in da Zigster...he'd have loved him. And I could tell you that he would have adored his great-granddaughter every bit as much as he adored his granddaughter.

But he'd hate it that I got maudlin.

So I'll just say, "I miss you somethin awful, Daddy".

Morning has broken...

2009-12-17T18:56:00.001-06:00

...like the first morning...

The sunrise this morning was magnificent. I had to run out onto the deck...in my nightie...to grab a couple photos.

Bbbrrrrrrrr!

All in a day's work

2009-12-15T17:14:00.000-06:00

But I don't usually make the paper for doing it

That would be me there...on the right...finishing up an H1N1 vaccination.

We whipped through about 500...not 400 like the

story

says...in 2.5 hours this morning. I'm tellin ya...we've got it down to a science.

I wasn't sure I'd make the clinic this morning. I got in the car and started down the road, only to discover that my car wouldn't...go. Well, it'd go, but it wouldn't shift.

Thankfully, da Zigster's on vay-cay this week, so I headed back home and jumped in the Man-Van, instructing him to call the dealer to see when we could get it in.

Come to find out, some little...critter...chewed on a bunch of the wiring while it sat in the driveway this past weekend, disabling the speedometer. If the speedometer won't work, it doesn't register that the car is moving...so it doesn't shift.

Huh.

Anywho, I'm all fixed up again and ready to roll.

Need a laugh?

2009-12-14T18:24:00.000-06:00

Check out the captions.

I laughed myself silly. Ah...sillier. heh

Things that work

2009-12-14T11:11:00.000-06:00

In today's world of scams and miracle claims and cheaply-made, imported crap, it's great to find products that actually do what they claim they do.

I figure they're worth mentioning, so I will...from time to time.

The

Squirrel Be Gone Bird Feeder

works.

We love feeding the birds in the winter. And, while the squirrels are fun to watch, they can clean out a bird feeder faster than

Jim-Bob's

family at an all you can eat buffet.

The little bastards can chew through heavy plastic, bend metal and in general, figure out a way to get into just about anything if they think there's food in it. Smart little buggers. Squirrels, I mean. Not Jim-Bob's family. heh

After throwing away a multitude of chewed up, bent and otherwise squirrel-damaged bird feeders, we finally discovered one that really keeps 'em stymied.

The design is crazy-simple. When a fat-ass squirrel tries to climb up on it, the spring-loaded metal casing slides down over the holes sealing 'em shut. Birds aren't heavy enough to trigger the springs, so they can feed without a problem.

And it seems that once the squirrels figure out that they can't filch the food, they stop trying. Mostly.

I have a couple of photos of a stymied squirrel...unfortunately, after playing with my template over the weekend, I've somehow lost my "Post a Photo" ability.

Fuck. Back to the drawing board.

Update:
Thank gawd for Blogger forums. A simple switch back to "old editor" fixed the photo problem.

New look

2009-12-12T11:16:00.000-06:00

Same old shit

Good gawd. I'd rather have my girly-parts waxed with hydrochloric acid than mess with my template.

Unfortunately, it had to be done.

See...last night, I logged in to Haloscan to check my pretty-much nonexistent comments, only to discover that Haloscan has been/will soon be taken over by something called "Echo", a commenting system that charges for the service. Of course.

Now, I wouldn't have minded so much...it was only like 10 bucks a year...but after signing up, I discovered that it was clunky and junky and not at all user-friendly...for a Luddite like me, anyway.

In other words, there was no "If you want to do (whatever), click here." kind of instructions. In fact, it took me a good hour to figure out exactly where the damn "moderate comments" doo-dad was. Of course, it didn't say "moderate comments"...or even anything that would translate as that.

Fuck that shit.

Soooo, this morning, I girded my non-waxed-in-hydrochloric-acid loins, dived into Mr. Template and attempted to remove the offending Echo crap and switch back to Blogger comments.

Riiiight.

Let's just say it was easier to ditch the whole fuckin mess and start over.

So I did.

Fortunately, I've finally figured out how to add my links back in...or most of 'em, anyway. Unfortunately, I've thus far been unable to figure out how to add my little blogger awards and other doo-hickeys to the sidebar.

Screw it.

I need a martini.

Oh, yah...

2009-12-03T09:02:00.000-06:00

Coulda told 'em dat, fer sure...my maiden name is Peterson, yah?

You Are Swedish

You are a very unique and interesting person. There aren't many like you, and your kind is a bit of a dying breed.

While you fit inside the mainstream, you are an outlier. You have your own unique words and expressions that many people don't understand.

You wish more people appreciate you for who you are. You are like an undiscovered indie rock band or an underrated type of cuisine.

You are beautiful, fascinating, and expressive in your own way... if only people would stop and take the time to listen.

What Language Are You?

Blogthings: Take a Quiz. Annoy Your Friends.

Snagged from the lovely

Leslie

From brain to bowl

2009-12-02T16:19:00.000-06:00

Just call me "The Barefoot River Rat"

I'm not normally a big soup eater. I'm really more of a meat-and-taters kinda gal. But I loooove to make soup. I think it's because, even more than most other foods, soup is creative. You can make soup out of damn near anything. And it can be as complicated or as simple as you want to make it.

See, there's been this pound of Italian sausage hangin out in my freezer for longer than it should have been. It looked at me accusingly every time I reached in there for a package of chicken or a beef roast.

Imagine that that little package of Italian sausage could talk. It'd sound just like Joe Pesci's Nicky Santoro character in

Casino

"When the fuck you gonna use me, asshole? You shit-kicking, stinky, horse-manure-smellin' motherfucker you. You don't use me, I'll stick you in a hole in the fuckin' desert."

Mmm...ok. I've got an over-active imagination. So sue me.

I also had some shrink-wrapped

gnocchi

in the pantry that I've been wanting to use, but could never decide on a recipe to try.

Since we're breathlessly awaiting the first snow of the season (fuckitall) and I love all things Italian, I figured some kinda Italian soup might just hit the spot.

And it'd get that damned Italian sausage off my back.

Pammy's Gnocchi Soup

1 lb. loose Italian sausage, browned and drained
1 lg. can crushed tomatoes
1/2 lg. onion, diced
1 C baby carrots, sliced
3 C fresh spinach, roughly chopped
1 T dried celery flakes
1 t dried basil
1/2 t dried thyme
3 small bay leaves (don't forget to fish 'em out before serving!)
3 large garlic cloves, (or to your taste) grated
Sprinkle of red pepper flakes (or as spicy as you want it)

1 T Kitchen Bouquet and 4-5 C water (you could use beef broth or veggie stock...I didn't have any)

1 lb. potato gnocchi

Brown the onion in a little olive oil. Add the garlic, celery flakes, red pepper flakes basil and thyme. Throw in the drained sausage. Add the tomatoes, Kitchen Bouquet and water or stock, carrots and bay leaves. Simmer for...a while...I dunno...the longer, the better.

Throw in the spinach and continue to simmer.

When you think the flavors have melded (a couple hours or so, I guess...what?...do I look like Giada fuckin DeLaurentiis?), bring it up to a boil, add the gnocchi and cook until they float.

Serve it up in bowls with a little sprinkle of freshly grated parm on top and some nice, crusty bread.

It's good. It's good for you. Well...except for the sausage. And...uh...the potato gnocchi. But hey...it makes your house smell like Joe Pesci's mama's.

I guess.

I've never smelled Joe Pesci's mama's house. But it's what I imagine it would smell like. heh

Moonstruck

2009-12-01T16:47:00.000-06:00

One of my favorite movies, too

Tonight's moon is coming up pretty much exactly where the sunrise is these days. Odd, that. Or not. I dunno. Do I look like an astronomer? heh I just thought it was really pretty.

That's Amore
In Napoli where love is king
When boy meets girl here's what they say

When the moon hits you eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore
When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine
That's amore
Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you'll sing "Vita bella"
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like a gay tarantella

When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool
That's amore
When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You're in love
When you walk down in a dream but you know you're not
Dreaming signore
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli
That's amore

(When the moon hits you eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore
When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine
That's amore
Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you'll sing "Vita bella"
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like a gay tarantella

When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool)
That's amore
(When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You're in love
When you walk down in a dream but you know you're not
Dreaming signore
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli)
That's amore
Lucky fella

When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool)
That's amore
(When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You're in love
When you walk down in a dream but you know you're not
Dreaming signore
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli)
That's amore, (amore)
That's amore

Great. Now I'll have that stuck in my brain for 3 days.

Ya say it's yer birthday?

2009-11-29T10:14:00.000-06:00

Well, Happy Birthday to ya!

My "baby" granddaughter (isn't she gorgeous? She looks just like me...at that age. heh) is TEN today!

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Happy Birthday, Fuzzy-Butt! This one's just for you!

(Snagged from

Nate

...he finds all the good stuff.)

Fifty years later, and it's still timely

2009-11-25T23:34:00.000-06:00

I caught

Lil' Abner

on TCM tonight. Gawd...haven't seen it since I was a kid. But I guess I'm mature enough now that I can really appreciate it.

The parallels are striking...doncha think?

Contentment

2009-11-25T18:06:00.000-06:00

And other thoughts

I'm warm and snuggly after a hot bubble bath. My belly's full. Our little riverside retreat is a cozy shelter from tonight's cold, drizzly rain.

And my carpet is clean. Well, until one of da boys yaks up a hairball.

That was today's project...hauling the carpet shampooer down from the loft and steaming the worst traffic areas. Which was practically the whole living room/dining room/hall.

Well, actually that was Ziggy's project. But ah helped. As in it was my idea.

He likes it when I think up projects for him. Really. heh
************

We've been half-assedly looking at property to buy. We'd figured that, at this point in our lives, renting was the way to go....until property values started coming back into the area of "semi-realistic". Now we figure that it might be a good idea to buy again. 'Course we'd love to buy this place. And our landlords are positively tickled pink at the thought of selling to us. Unfortunately, their thoughts on home pricing haven't exactly caught up with reality.

We'll see.
*************

I suppose, since this is Thanksgiving eve, I ought to do a whole "what am I thankful for?" thing. It's like...a rule...right? Sooo, without further ado...

I'm thankful for:

1...da Zigster. He's my bestest friend and lover. He gets me when nobody else does. He humors me and indulges me and spoils me rotten.

2...my beautiful daughter and granddaughter...who's gonna be 10 whole years old next week! Good gawd. Ten. It's going by too damn fast.

3...the two lobsters that sacrificed their lovely, 1 pound tails and the cow that donated a couple of it's ribs...along with a nice hunk'o meat...for our Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow.

4...the fact that we can afford to have lobster and prime rib roast...or anything to eat, for that matter. So many people can't.

5...our health. So many people don't have that, either. 'Course, after tomorrow's heart attack, disguised as a Thanksgiving dinner, that might be a moot point.

6...the fact that I have family and friends to be thankful for.

7...Starbuck's coffee, dark chocolate and popcorn.
**************

Whether you're having turkey or sushi...whether you'll be spending Thanksgiving with family and friends or all by your lonesome...Ziggy and I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all a very, very...

Smart, smart guy

2009-11-25T17:42:00.000-06:00

Jumping the Shark

“My arm was numb after I slept on it funny and my mom says I’m having a stroke,” says my essentially healthy 34-year-old patient to the nodding approval of his indulgent mother sitting by the bed.

“How long did the numbness last?”

“A couple of minutes…it went away after I straightened my arm.”

“So your arm went to sleep and now it’s better?” I ask.

“I guess so.”

“You know that just walking through that door costs you four hundred bucks?”

“It’s okay,” interjects his mother,”He’s on disability and don’t have to pay a dime.”

And there, in a nutshell, is the problem with American medicine and why the looming government solutions are insane. Don’t you all realize that when a healthy young man can walk into an Emergency Department because his arm fell asleep and be seen by a doctor, a doctor who will dutifully diagnose him with transient paresthesias or compression neuropathy or God forbid initiate an expensive and highly unnecessary work up; when a patient can present with nothing and less than nothing and run through your money with as much concern as I have for swatting a fly…don’t you all realize that when this kind of patient can leave without being arrested for fraud that American medicine has jumped the shark and making it even more accessible at even less cost to a growing population of supremely entitled citizens will result in nothing but an exponential increase in the baseline ridiculousness of it all?

And that, in a nutshell, is exactly why I ran at top speed, away from ER nursing.

This Doc is headed to my blogroll, posthaste.